Wednesday, June 17, 2009
More Bitter than it is Sweet
So this morning Nic and I finally decided when he's going to come home for good from Iraq. April 23, 2010 is the big day. It is such a bittersweet thing to extend another 6 months. I am ready for him to come home now and he is ready to be home too. Unfortunetly with the market the way it is it wouldn't make very much sense for him to come home in Oct. during the slow season for plumbing. By April we will have enough money saved up for Nic to get a jump start on his company with his brother Curtis. On the one hand I feel very grateful to be in a situation to pay off debt and put money away, especially in an economy like this. However, it is really hard for me to put my emotions aside and think logically. My heart is screaming, "I miss you, I can't do this anymore, Come home NOW!" I know it will require a lot more strength to endure an extra 6 mo. . I know the strength will come from my Heavenly Father when I need it and when I think of what Nic is doing I feel lucky in some ways. At least I am at home with the kids and family and friends. I know this decision is going to be just as hard if not more on Nic. I think the thing I hate the most about Nic being gone is the empty feeling of not being quite complete. Yes we can talk on web cam every day but at the same time we miss out on a lot of the small things..... the daily routines. I worry about the kids relationships with Nic as well. How are they going to adjust after not having him around for so long? I miss eating dinner together and laughing at the funny things Tae does. I really miss watching Nic interact with the kids. I guess bottom line is that the extra 6 mo. is neccasary to accomplish what we set out to accomplish but I'm not really happy about it. Once again I am grateful my husband has a good job. I just need to take baby steps and focus on getting to his next R&R in July.
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3 comments:
I am not sure how you do it! That would be so hard. When Cameron goes away for just a couple of days I just miss him so much. You are such a strong person. Good luck.
I find that the less I think about my hubby being gone and for how long he'll have to be gone the easier it is for me and it seems like time goes by faster too. Just keep yourself busy doing other things and thinking about others and the time will fly. And please let me know if you need to get out of the house, you can always come over here or we can go somewhere together. Hang in there!
I think kids adjust to things faster than adults do. Sure there will be an adjustment period. But just try to remember back to when you were three years old and see how much you remember. Alex is four and he is already forgetting things that happened to him. Stuff I thought he would remember for the rest of his life. I know I don't have much experience for my husband being gone. but I went through a bit of depression when Alex was young and I was babysitting a little girl. I felt trapped in my house. So I decided to find one thing I could get out and do every day. Something either I or the kids had to look forward to every day. Here are some ideas. Free Movies at Edwards (family Film Festival) 10:00 am Tues and WED. Lapsit story time at the Library. Relief Society Groups. I also got into some good books and Movies. Makes the time fly. I think expressing your frustration and sadness on blogging has healing powers. No wonder we are suppose to journal. Good Luck Celeste.
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